Well, my friends, it seems like all of the blood, sweat, and tears of the last two months has finally paid off! Without your support, I think I would have given up by now.
As I was gathering my notes to try, yet again, to get my appeal expedited (Kaiser had just sent a letter saying my appeal could not be expedited because waiting would not “seriously jeopardize [my] health or ability to regain maximum function,” despite the fact that two neurosurgeons—including Kaiser’s own appointed surgeon—said that delaying surgery would put me “at risk for catastrophic vision loss”), I was informed that my appeal had gone through. The woman on the phone said that Kaiser’s previous denial had been overturned.
I broke down right there, and got off the phone as soon as I extracted a promise from the woman to send me the approval letter immediately. What followed I can only describe as some sort of howl. It was a primal noise of frustration and maybe grief. (I have been looking online for a sound I could post here to give you some idea of what I mean, but nothing was right).
All of the terrible frustration and helplessness I’ve felt for the past two months just came pouring out of me, and it was so loud! I think I scared my poor dog to death.
Afterward, I felt…deflated, or something. Then I felt guilty, because I wasn’t overjoyed like I thought I should be. But I made a promise to let myself feel whatever feelings come up, no matter what.
Right now, I feel so happy. So grateful. I’m still wary…I’ve only been officially granted authorization for office visits to Dr. Ferreira, but I have hope that they will also grant surgery. Thank you again, my beautiful friends and family.