Denial overturned?!?

Well, my friends, it seems like all of the blood, sweat, and tears of the last two months has finally paid off! Without your support, I think I would have given up by now.

As I was gathering my notes to try, yet again, to get my appeal expedited (Kaiser had just sent a letter saying my appeal could not be expedited because waiting would not “seriously jeopardize [my] health or ability to regain maximum function,” despite the fact that two neurosurgeons—including Kaiser’s own appointed surgeon—said that delaying surgery would put me “at risk for catastrophic vision loss”), I was informed that my appeal had gone through. The woman on the phone said that Kaiser’s previous denial had been overturned.

I broke down right there, and got off the phone as soon as I extracted a promise from the woman to send me the approval letter immediately. What followed I can only describe as some sort of howl. It was a primal noise of frustration and maybe grief. (I have been looking online for a sound I could post here to give you some idea of what I mean, but nothing was right).

All of the terrible frustration and helplessness I’ve felt for the past two months just came pouring out of me, and it was so loud! I think I scared my poor dog to death.

Afterward, I felt…deflated, or something. Then I felt guilty, because I wasn’t overjoyed like I thought I should be. But I made a promise to let myself feel whatever feelings come up, no matter what.

Right now, I feel so happy. So grateful. I’m still wary…I’ve only been officially granted authorization for office visits to Dr. Ferreira, but I have hope that they will also grant surgery. Thank you again, my beautiful friends and family.

2 Replies to “Denial overturned?!?”

  1. The sound you made that came from deep with-in. Was the sound of your heart & soul Bursting with Release… it’s not one emotion, it’s ALL emotions coming out at the Exact Same Time!! You are now free from this pain and frustration if you so choose to be…. let it go.

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